Questions an Intelligent Person Might Ask:
"Take the bull by the horns." But, now what do you do?
--Let go and run like hell.
What is the meaning of Life?
--You're not dead yet.
What does it mean to be human?
--Means you're not a moneky
anymore.
Is the earth really round?
--Start walking and tell
me if you fall off.
What makes the sky blue?
--The blood, sweat and tears
of thousands of smurfs.
What's life after death like?
--You're dead, no more life...idiot.
Are we the only intelligent life in the universe?
--Hope we don't constitute
'intelligent' life, the bar shouldn't be THAT low.
Is love true?
--Love doesn't lie to you,
you lie to love.
Does caring mean sharing?
--Herpes, care to share?
The truth always has a way of coming out.
--Yeah, when the guilty
spill their guts.
Is Alaska the most Eastern or Western state?
--Both.
If a tree falls in the forest when no one is there to hear it, does it
still make a sound?
--You wait here, I think
that tree is coming this way.
How old has a human been recorded to have lived?
--Jeanne Louise Calment
lived to be 122.
What does the oldest person say on her 122nd birthday?
--I've only got one wrinkle
and I'm sitting on it.
What makes life so hard?
--Collagen, lots and lots
of collagen.
Why am I here?
--You walked here, yesterday.
Now if you could...
How could a god of love possibly send people to Hell?
--Easily and with much enjoyment.
Why, 'o why would someone use a Mac?
--Ignorance, why else?
How do I live with the loss of life and security in the aftermath of
a terrorist attack?
--Quietly, under your porch.
Did You Do Anything Today?
--...